An ending fitting for the start
I failed my Traffic Police driving test, again. I fucked it abit. What can I say, I just love public transportation too much. I fuckin' rock!
Labels: Hey Barney doesn't know how to drive.
FCUK should make these shirts
Front of shirt: Read my back
Back of shirt: Haha! You FCUKin' loser
Labels: Credits to friend. Can't you tell? I don't need tops.
Gift Idea
A shirt saying: I'm with Awesome. He/she's with stoopid.
Labels: Your friend will appreciate it. Not.
Confucius saying
Confucius say, man with no voice, cannot speak.
Labels: Failure is a state of mind.
What I wake up with in my head
If it tastes like chicken, smells like chicken, feels like chicken, sounds like a chicken, runs like a chicken, you never know, it might be a duck.
Labels: Fuckaduck.
I'm going to be an uncle
Growing up, kids go through many different phases. It all starts with a child being born. That's the phase where it does nothing but blink and we all think its just adorable. Then there's the age where it starts to crawl and move around, and everything it does is cute. After that, its just not cute anymore. And finally my personal favourite, the reason why I'd actually want kids, the age you can get your kids to do anything you ask it to because its dumb and wants attention. Its not cute anymore, but at least its doing stuff for me.
Labels: Still a long way from having kids of my own. My brother's kid will have to do for now.
Because
In truth, in reality, Juliet probably said, "Romeo, O Romeo... I no longer find you attractive—if I ever did—and the thought of sleeping with you now repulses me. Please don’t cry."
Labels: Poor Romeo. I'd love to have a go at Juliet though.
Quote me on this
When boredom kills, eat.
Labels: Cereal milk whipped cream chocolate syrup
No one listens
Advice - If its not paid for, it won't be heeded. People are just sacks of ego. Men, women, they're all the same. They all need help, but they're unwilling to help themselves. We want something, but we don't really want to work for it. We all want it easy, we just want to have a good time. Such is the malformation, its revolting. This world is twisted through and through. The fall of societies, communities, an entire race because of human's utmost detestable nature. Hypocrites, every single one of them. We are heading towards the end of days. May god save us all.
Labels: We'd only believe what we choose to believe. All else is relative.
Twisted
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout, "Save us!"... And I'll whisper, "No."
Labels: Rorshach. Cool.
Oh, the stupidity of it all.
If being a genius was a superpower, evil would prevail. One hero cannot match the idiocy of the world.
Labels: We can be heroes...just for one day. What would be the point then?
Post caffeine days
The key to making good coffee, is milk. How? For milk coffee, you add milk. For black coffee, you don't add milk.
Labels: Exam results blows. But grateful nonetheless.
Why I'd make a horrible doctor
So you have a cough? Take a whole bottle of laxatives.
Labels: Don't believe that'll work? Try it.
Art of random thinking
Cheese - Milk's leap towards immortality.
Labels: Do you know what's waiting beyond that beach? Immortality Take it It's yours
Today, the tomorrow we worried about yesterday
I'm a nice guy. I am free of all prejudice. I am not judgemental. I hate everyone equally.
Labels: When tomorrow never comes. You probably died today.
Things to do when you're out with a friend but have nothing to actually do.
Have a "Who is less competitive" competition. Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.
Try to not think about penguins. This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.
Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent
If you're with a friend, play useless "Whose line is it anyway" games like my personal favourite, answering each other with only questions until one can't answer with a question.
Call McDonalds with weird complaints about their food.
Pinch yourself. What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.
Labels: Can't you tell? I'm not bored.....
Five for Fighting
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, it won't come running.
Labels: Fool of a took.
Friendster
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: Everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Labels: You can pee and not poop. But you can't poop and not pee.
Karate. Empty orchestra.
Karate, directly translated means empty hand. Using only their hands and feet, it is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
Labels: Apart form The Karate Kid.
Patience is a virtue
Efficiency: Reading the paper while taking a dump.
Patience: Waiting for that moron, who thought it was efficient to read the paper while taking a dump, to get out of the toilet so you can pee.